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Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. We strive to make the right choices, but how do we know when it is truly time to let go of a relationship and move on? Knowing when to let go is key to ensuring we don’t stay in relationships or situations that no longer serve us.
I have a friend who is in a negative situation, and he’s hanging on for dear life because he wants to be brave and tough it out. “Giving up is not an option,” he told me, which so many of us believe. But when holding onto something hurts our health and potential to be happy, we have to look closely at why we’re choosing to stay.
[Read: “Why People Stay in Bad Relationships.”]
Romantic relationships, jobs, and even places we live carry no lifetime guarantee. But sometimes we hold onto things that aren’t working out of fear we won’t find something better. Perhaps our greatest fear is the unknown, which is why so many of us grasp, hold onto, and manipulate our situations, trying to control our surroundings. Holding onto a relationship that has expired can hurt each person involved because the outcome is always the same: more pain, immense frustration, and enormous guilt and blame.
Of course, leaving a loved one, job, or living situation can be tough. When it comes time to finally let go, we’re left with wide-open uncertainty—and though it may not seem like it at the outset, this can be a gift.
To work through feelings of uncertainty, mental health experts suggest focusing on self-empowering activities like journaling, nature walks, and practicing mindfulness. One tool that has helped me stay sane has been repeating specific words or affirmations that can be used to aid in meditation aloud every day. Here are some go-to selections from my book Find Your Happy Daily Mantras. After you say each affirmation, repeat the words that follow for comfort.
Where are you on the relationship path? For further exploration, read “When Friends Break Up.”
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