You know that feeling when a sense of internal and external radiance surrounds you? You can’t help but smile. You feel good. Something you can’t quite put your finger on is just working for you today, bringing on a sense of confidence, freedom, happiness, and sexiness. That to me is feminine magnetism.
As a former chronic anxiety sufferer, I know the complete opposite of this—feeling small, unworthy, unconfident, worried, shy, and insecure. My anxiety started after a panic attack at age 24 after which I felt unsafe in my body (how could my body betray me like this?). It took years of personal development therapies, including some of the practices I outline below, for me to find myself and reconnect to the body I’d stopped trusting.
Reconnecting to the body is a daily practice that can be cultivated—just like allowing yourself to drop more into your feminine energy. And I believe everyone is feminine and magnetic at the core of their being. Isn’t it time to embrace this intrinsic feminine magnetism?
Beauty is about how you feel, which can be related to how you appear—to yourself and others. Can you allow beauty in your life to be an effortless unfolding?
Start with the basics: Wear clothes that make you feel beautiful. Decorate your space with things that bring beauty to you—flowers and artwork come to mind. Wear makeup or do your hair in a way that brings you pleasure, but remember that the feminine energy is one that cultivates and appreciates beauty. That doesn’t mean feminine magnetism requires hours of primping to match popular beauty standards.
Embracing beauty is about valuing things that you find beautiful and going out of your way to incorporate an appreciation of beauty into your daily life. Being beauty-centric is a way to stay rooted to feminine magnetism, no matter your gender.
In addition to enhancing your own living space, maybe drive past a beautiful building or landscape, even if it adds a few minutes to your commute. Flip through those art books on your coffee table. Notice the way the sky changes colors.
When you open your eyes, beauty is indeed everywhere. Ask yourself how you can enhance that beauty that is already all around you.
Let Feminine Magnetism Flow
A big part of the feminine is movement. In India, where I grew up, it is said that Shiva (the all-pervasive masculine energy and the mythological God of destruction) is pure consciousness; pure consciousness is still, non-moving. Shakti (the all-pervasive female energy present everywhere) is vibration, a.k.a. movement. It is said that when Shiva and Shakti come together the universe is created. The opposite of movement would be stagnation, which feels lifeless, dull, frustrating, and brittle in your body and affects your energy levels.
Can you scan both your body and your environment to see where stagnation may be occurring? Conduct a self-energy exam. Are you feeling stiff, sluggish—as if the energy within you is in stasis? Movement allows you to rejuvenate your energy flow and release built-up stagnation. Maybe this means going for a walk, or a dance class, perhaps even yoga or the gym to move the energy stuck in your body.
Are you feeling stiff, sluggish—as if the energy within you is in stasis? Movement allows you to rejuvenate your energy flow and release built-up stagnation.
Does your house need to be decluttered? How about the photos on your phone? The ancient Chinese art of feng shui tells us stagnation is harmful to the flow of our good energies. Clearing space both physically and mentally allows for new energy to flow in, and the feminine is all about flow.
Practice Sensual Mindfulness
Start by slowing down your actions. Notice the sights, smells, tastes, textures, touch, breeze, sunlight, and sounds all around you. By slowing down, a sensual creature increases her presence and capacity to receive pleasure.
As you become more aware of your surroundings and your place within them, feel how beauty and pleasure begins to foster within you. It’s your feminine magnetism pulling the pleasures of the outside world within you. You and the world around you—two powerful magnetic forces of nature.
Meditation can also cultivate sensuality, although I recommend a moving meditation rather than sitting still (that would be leaning towards masculine as discussed earlier). Moving meditation could look like swaying your hips as you feel each movement or it could be reciting a beautiful mantra that makes you feel soft and feminine. A favorite Mantra singer of mine is Snatam Kaur.
KonMari for Confidence
KonMari is the name of the method perfected by professional organizer Marie Kondo. I KonMari my wardrobe often. But instead of asking “does it spark joy?” as Kondo recommends, I ask, “Does this make me feel sexy and confident?” If it doesn’t, I donate the item—perhaps it will make another person feel sexy and confident.
But you can KonMari more than just your clothes.
Really, KonMari is all about energy flow. Think, how can you implement the tactics of Marie Kondo into your everyday life to promote your feminine energy flow? Declutter your pantry or refrigerator; your photos or files on your computer; even your relationships, both personal and professional.
Take things that may not be serving you, that may be dampening your feminine magnetism, and dismiss them.
Feminine magnetism is that feel-good feeling that comes from the recognition of an internal validation of yourself and the world you create for yourself. It allows a woman to feel strong within her femininity both internal and external. There is not a woman I know who can’t cultivate her feminine magnetism.
Keep reading about sensuality: “6 Tantric Techniques to Improve Your Sex Life.”