Book Review: Passion & Presence A Couple’s Guide to Awakened Intimacy and Mindful Sex

by Maci Daye
reviewed by Kathryn Drury Wagner

“PASSIONATE SEX is rare in long-term relationships.” There. Maci Daye just gets this over with in the introduction to her new book, so anyone in that situation can relax—it’s totally the norm. Because let’s face it, the early erotic connection a couple enjoys often gets snuffed out over the years from the changes that come with aging, as well as from the stresses of family, career—and now a pandemic. Plus, there’s that “meh” feeling that happens from being intimate with the same person over and over for decades. So, what to do about this fizzle?

Daye sets the reader completely at ease with a nonjudgmental, very approachable tome about sex. She is a licensed professional counselor and certified sex therapist with over 25 years of experience. She based this book off of her retreat series, Passion and Presence, which she’s conducted with couples all over the U.S. and internationally.

Using a combination of approaches, including Hakomi mindful somatic psycho- therapy, neuroscience, sex therapy, trauma therapy, and systems therapy, Daye provides methods to get couples back on what she calls the “naked path.” It’s like enlightenment, only ... naked, and this path takes the reader past obstacles and toward re-enchantment. She focuses on mindful sex, which she is quick to clarify is not necessarily slow sex. Mindful sex eliminates goals, for example, and accepts both joys and challenges.

The book is filled with tips, insights from research, and tender stories of couples reclaiming what Daye calls “pure erotic potential.” If you’ve fallen into a ho-hum routine—or even entirely out of a sexual relationship—with your beloved and want to reestablish that passionate dimension, this book is for you.

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