Top subscribe filter_none issues my account search apps login google-plus facebook instagram twitter pinterest youtube lock

The Secret of Real Anger Management

Maybe it’s time to unleash what it really feels like to care.

Brick building in Cambridge MA

Credit: Storage Warehouse, Cambridge MA, by Sandra Salamony

Years ago, in a desperate attempt to get out of limbo in our seven-year revolving-door relationship, my boyfriend and I decided to get some professional help. Our counselor was an older, gentle giant of a man who listened to our weary situation with soulful compassion and much head nodding. At the end of our second session, he slowly and calmly made a declaration about our obvious, perpetual dilemma. “Well, if I were Joy right now, I think I might be thinking something like—[he took a significant pause, seeming to carefully find his words]—well, something like, ‘Fuck you!’” Those words cut through my trance of self-pity. I sat bolt upright, my vision cleared, and I felt a hot surge of energy flow through my body. In that moment, I woke up to how numb I had become to my boyfriend’s criticisms. Somewhere along the line, I had come to believe that it was my duty to listen to, even validate, his judgments of me. I left our session finally ready to face how I had been futilely trying to prove myself worthy of love—suddenly understanding that trying to earn his love was inherently flawed. …

About the Author

This entry is tagged with:

Enlightening, Empowering, Innovative, Inspiring… Don’t Miss a Word!

Become a subscriber, or find us at your local bookstore, newsstand, or grocer.

Find us on instagram @SpiritHealthMag

Instagram @SpiritHealthMag

© 2021 Spirituality & Health

2021 Spirituality & Health (en-US) MEDIA, LLC