7 Writing Projects to Spark Your Sensual Life

“Fictional couples can show us the way, can open us up to new ideas, new ways of thinking, and new ways of approaching sensuality and sexuality, both in ourselves and with our partner,” says New York Times bestselling author Jasinda Wilder. The author of more than one hundred romance novels, she turned her passion for writing about passion into a hugely successful career.

[Read: “Healing Erotica: Tap Into Sexual Transformation.”]

Beyond reading books like Wilder’s, why not try your own hand at putting sensuality on paper? The writing prompts and projects outlined here offer a way to start small and work your way to bigger written works.

To get started: Invest in a sensuality journal or notebook, or create a special folder on your computer or device. Carve out some sacred time in a quiet place to do these exercises. Assess which of these seven writing projects is best for you or try them all. Have fun!

1. Create a List of True Desires

Jot down all the things you wish to experience in your romantic life. Begin to get into the habit of writing things down. “Writing has been used for millennia as a powerful tool for manifestation,” says Tiffany Lazic, a transpersonal psychotherapist and author of The Noble Art. “What we think or dream about can too often be lost in the ether. What we write becomes that much more tangible. It moves the ethereal into the realm of the manifest.”

Sensual Writing Tips:

• Write your list by hand, as this reinforces goals.
• This list is for your eyes only, and you can revise it or add to it at any time.
• Write everything as if it is already accomplished. For example, “Thank you for my glorious partner who tells me he loves me all day, in words and actions.”

2. Jot Down a Journal Entry

Use journaling to become intimate with your own heart and mind and share true feelings. “Taking the time to slow down long enough to write invites a deeper relationship to self, allowing the space to bring both unconscious fears and desires and superconscious dreams and visions to light,” says Lazic. “This is exactly what lies behind the power of journaling and is particularly important in the area of sensuality and romance.”

Sensual Writing Tips:

• Sit down for 10 minutes daily with the intention to share your truest desires.
• Let your pen (or fingers) do the talking. Don’t try to edit or control the words that flow out.
• Use the next page in the journal or a new file to craft your thoughts into a paragraph or two. This gives you some practice writing.

3. Pen a Sexy Poem

People have been penning poems that invoke the erotic imagination for eons. Sappho, Anaïs Nin, Erica Jong, and hundreds of iconic writers across time have revealed their heart’s desires in poetry. Consider your favorite poems and poets and read some of their work for inspiration. Feel free to model a style you like or create your own.

Sensual Writing Tips:

• Play music that inspires your heart and soul, and sway until you feel alive and filled with love.
• When the song ends, grab your journal or device, and write down everything you are feeling.
• Formulate it into a poem. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just authentic.

4. Craft a Love Scene

Writing a romantic scene can wake up your senses and activate your inner muse. It’s a way to test the writing waters and, as a bonus, can make you feel alive with pleasure. Wilder points out that spicy love stories help women “take back ownership of our sensuality and sexuality.”

Sensual Writing Tips:

• Meditate on something you would genuinely like to experience in real life.
• Craft your thoughts into a paragraph or two that focuses specifically on a romantic or sensual act —a long kiss, a sexy shower, or any intimacy you desire.

5. Scribe a Sensual Story

Consider the first draft to be a personal road map to your most intimate desires. “When we write, particularly when we write sensual fantasies or stories, we invite the possibility of learning about ourselves,” Lazic points out. “What works for us and what doesn’t; what thrills us and what doesn’t; what awakens us and what doesn’t.” As we honor ourselves it can lead to a more connected relationship with another.

Sensual Writing Tips:

• Use the tips you’ve been developing, such as taking sacred time in a quiet place and mediating or listing to music.
• Fill the story with your fantasies.
• Don’t worry about perfecting and editing as you go along.

6. Write a Romance Book

Full disclosure: My first novels were steamy romance books, and while researching them I felt like all of life was one big, ongoing date. The more I wrote, the more I felt I had permission to be a sensual woman. It led me to find my own partner. Even when I married and became a mom, I still enjoyed this liberating form of writing. Working on a full romance book can enhance your self-esteem and increase your sense of engagement with the world. If you’re single, it may help open your eyes to a new world of love and romance. If you have a partner, you may begin to look at your beloved through a more passionate lens. Romance books can make you feel that true love, or renewed love, is right around the corner.

Sensual Writing Tips:

• Study romance writing in a course or just take one class for fun!
• When ideas flow, make sure you capture them in your journal.
• Make time to write several times a week.
• Ignore your inner critic as you practice writing and gain confidence.

7. Put Pen to Paper with Your Mate

Writing sexy scenes together can be a fun game to play on date night and also a way to get to know each other’s passions. Jasinda Wilder has written all of her books with her husband, Jack, while raising six kids together.

[Read: “Shared Journaling.”]

“Writing with Mr. Wilder has always added a little extra spice to our lives,” she shares. “We’re always discussing our stories, our characters, and our scenes, and yes, that sometimes includes those scenes. We try to make our scenes drip not just with sensuality but romance and emotion, because we believe that’s how real life should be.”

Sensual Writing Tips:

• If you are adventurous, you can each write down your sexiest ideas and then enact them.
• If you’re not there yet, read sexy passages together for inspiration.
• Just talking about writing things down can activate a night of romance.

Embrace Your Authentic Self

“The pen can give us permission to write the things we think, without having to speak them out loud,” says Jamye Waxman, a Los Angeles-based sex therapist, sexologist, and author of several books, including Hot Sex: Over 200 Things to Try Tonight. “Writing allows us to get creative and it can be a way to collect our thoughts and map out our desires in our own time. And because writing things down help us remember things better, it is a way to help us hold on to our fantasies for a long time to come.”

Putting your passionate pen to the page can be a way of releasing inhibitions and may help you focus on creating more joy and pleasure. However, many of us are raised to believe our sensual ideas are inappropriate and we may have shame about our bodies and our fantasies. Be gentle with yourself, and honor any feelings that arise. Never push yourself, and always pace yourself.

For more inspiration, check out these 30 journaling prompts for self-discovery.