“Many therapists work to help clients create a better life—a Soul Companion works with clients to create a better death.”
A soul companion or a soul friend is the joyful honor and bridge between what a person needs and what a person wants when facing end of life.
“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of confusion or despair, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing ... not healing ... not curing ... that is a friend indeed.” (Henri Nouwen)
As hard as It may be for some, end of life is a natural part of life. In the Western world it is often seen as something to avoid, something we shouldn’t talk about—it is essentially the taboo of all taboos. Yet it is something that we each face.
Talking about death and dying openly, honestly and embracing it as part of our life can be so freeing. We can share our thoughts and feelings and leave no doubt as to how we would like it to be. Talk about the fear, it too, is natural. However, we can also talk about the sacred part, the rituals, and ensure that our wants surrounding our death are known and more likely then to be met.
Sharing our death before it happens, freeing us up to live fully and enjoy the life we have. Thinking about that on a personal level, allows me to feel so much lighter and less afraid.
The thought of sitting with someone over tea and cake and discussing the deep feelings, concerns, wants and sacredness of death for some may seem a little strange, but for many it is a relief and allows more joy.
When knowingly faced with end of life, the medical profession and indeed other professionals get busy with doing whatever it is they can within their professional remit. This can mean for many that it becomes a process and a clinical, formal one at that. Having a friendly companion alongside, one who isn’t a medical professional, who is aware of the wants and desires surrounding the last months, weeks and days can provide such comfort and make the experience less daunting and more personal.
A common feeling as we approach end of life is that we have regrets; we have not achieved all we wanted to and therefore have in some way failed.
As a Soul Companion, you can help a person come to terms with regrets. You can actually empower them—think about that for a moment—empowering someone who is dying. Empowering someone who is coming to the end of their life, feeling perhaps hopeless, helpless, disempowered.
A Soul Companion can give them that empowerment, by helping them to figure out what they want now, how they can die well and even working through some of their unfinished business.
Many therapists work to help clients create a better life—a Soul Companion works with clients to create a better death.
The very last thing that can be done for this person: allowing them to die in peace.
If you would like to know more about how your end of life can be enrichened with a Soul Companion, or if you feel you could support someone at this sacred time of end of life please email [email protected] or visit the website www.anamhara.co.uk.