Question: My 80-year-old mother died six months ago—nine weeks after she was diagnosed with cancer. Our relationship was complicated. I loved her dearly but she was also the reason I’ve been in therapy much of my life. I still have times every day when I’m overcome with tears—for example, I’m doing laundry and I just start sobbing. My four siblings seem like they’re back to normal, but sometimes I feel like I’m losing it.
Kevin: You’ve had your whole life to develop a complicated relationship with your mother, so perhaps it’s not surprising that your grief feels complicated.
I suggest you welcome your tears as part of your healing. You may be sobbing for everything you had with your mother, everything you didn’t have, everything you wanted to have but never found a way to hav …