M.B. is standing—all six-foot-four of him—and alternately shaking and contorting with anguished tears as he addresses his coaching group. He has volunteered to reveal what it’s like to be a man who compulsively sexualizes the world and the women in it, and his rapid-fire emotional narrative expresses the pain he feels. He deeply wishes to support the women in his life—including his three daughters—yet cannot shut off the inner directive to want to have sex with almost every woman he meets. This includes a tormented moment of viewing his own teenage daughter at the gym from behind and having this unbidden thought form before fully recognizing her. His shame is palpable, as is his rage, at his twisted predicament. I’ve sat with men like M.B. for over 20 years and I can tell you this: Most men truly want to please their mates and see the women in their lives flourish. And most of them feel like failures in this regard. In this unprecedented era of upended masculine and feminine stereotypes, my male clients perpetually find themselves caught between conflicting ideas of what it mea …