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When Sex Is New Again

In her new book, the best-selling author Iris Krasnow reveals how women really feel about intimacy—from their text-driven 20s to their golden years.

“I’ve never told anybody this” is a phrase I heard over and over while writing my latest book, Sex After. . .: Women Share How Intimacy Changes as Life Changes. Women told me secrets they’d be embarrassed to tell a therapist or even their best friend. I interviewed over 150 women about their intimate lives—through marriage and motherhood, illness and old age. Here are a few of the most memorable lessons these women taught me: Sex in your 20s In today’s hookup culture, sex happens quickly. One 20-something told me, “I can send a text and in less than an hour be in bed with a guy I met once briefly and may never see again.” It’s empowering, but by the same token, women this age tend to keep men at arm’s length. Old-fashioned as it sounds, I urge them to be unafraid of love. One man in his 20s told me, “I’ve been hooking up for three years, and it’s like candy: sweet but not nourishing. And I’m an emotional wreck.” So if you meet someone you think you want to explore on a deeper level, it’s important to say, “Hey, I’m feeling more than just an orgasm.” Sex after marriage That infatuation stage where yo …

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