THE VAST MAJORITY (80 percent) of Americans say that we want to die at home—and yet the majority (64 percent in Oregon) don’t. That’s a lot of desire unmet. And among the minority who succeed in dying at home, their success may not turn out to be a cherished or comforting memory for anyone. Why? So many live alone; so many can’t afford the kind of home care that even comes close to being ideal; so many houses are not prepared for dying; and so many relatives and friends really aren’t prepared either. While nobody wants to die amid a bustling hospital or forgotten in a nursing home—and “home” is better than that—is home really the best place to let go?  …