6 ways to nurture self-love.
Monica has been supporting her boyfriend for the past few years. She worked hard as the founder of a technology company, but it had recently failed.
She was not successful at her business and she was unable to find a loving partner who could support himself. Her health was in a fragile state from her relationship and business stressors. She had sleepless nights and occasional heart palpitations.
In an initial interview, her heart meditation mentor observed that she had a lack of self-love. Monica was truly surprised at this assessment.
“Self-love? Really? That’s what’s lacking in my life? I’m working so hard and I’m trying to take care of myself and others; I don’t understand.
"So what do I do about it?"
This is the guidance that her meditation mentor gave to her:
Make a commitment to silent time with yourself. Block out the same time, in the same place, every day for ten minutes. This will restore your rhythm. Turn off your phone and TV and close your eyes; focus on your self and nothing else.
If you feel restless or sleepy, these are signs of internal struggles. But this is not the last step; it’s the first step. If you stop now, you’ll never know what your heart can do.
Open your heart to yourself. In this special, daily time for yourself, dare to experience what your heart has in store for you. Breathe into your heart fully and listen inward.
Even if you think your life is hopeless, breathing deeply and slowly while thinking of your heart will bring so much energy into your center that such thoughts will be impossible to sustain. The rhythm and energy of your breath will create a coherent wave of balanced energy-in-motion (e-motion).
Discover the power of your inner self. The steady rhythm of your heart, combined with the energy of your breath, practiced daily, creates a powerful, internal engine which is experienced as your optimistic new self. You have made an opening for love to enter and grow.
Welcome your difficulties and face them. Over time your heart will reveal a painful emotional wound. Our usual tendency with pain is to suppress it, analyze it or forget it.
Instead, you can apply the heart rhythm breath to not only remember past experiences, but to actually magnify those experiences. Make the wound in your heart so visceral that it brings you to your knees.
Who would want to do that? Not only does Monica have all the problems she has in her outer life, but now her mentor is asking her to breathe deeply into the turmoil of her inner life to come to the root of her anguish.
Feeling the pain she holds in her heart is, at this stage, true self-love. It is the experience of thousands of people who have learned this technique of breathing deeply into their hearts that the heart has the power to digest the pain inflicted by the past, whatever it might have been.
Receive the gift of your heart: self-love. There is a further gift that focusing on your heart will offer you: the discovery of unconditional love. Your heart will expand magnetically, giving the feeling of vastness within your heart and revealing how deeply you are connected, and protected, and how deeply you are sought after.
The love that you’re experiencing here is not conceptual or transcendental; it is tangible, experiential, powerful, and available at any time.
Life is a celebration when you invite all your parts to the party. If you are willing to breathe through your heart, something will happen: your happiness and your sadness will embrace each other and every part will commune with every other part, with love.