Perhaps you have experienced the backlash of someone else’s anger, or have created a situation where you became angry and said or did things you regretted later. You know the feeling...it feels as though you are boiling from within and at some point it will burst uncontrollably out of you. Harboring this feeling itself causes a lot of emotional turmoil, can negatively impact health, and affects how you handle the life situations around you. So how to deal with anger so that it doesn’t build up and ruin your relationships or your health? Sadhguru, a realized yogi and one of the foremost authorities on yoga, addresses how to deal with anger.
How does one conquer one’s negative emotions and anger?
“Why do you want to conquer them? You would want to conquer something that you value, isn’t it? Do you want to conquer something that you do not value? Why would you take the trouble of conquering something that is of no value to you? If you want to conquer something, would you go and conquer a wasteland or would you want to go and conquer a rich land? A rich land. So, why do you want to conquer something that you do not want?
So, first drop the idea of conquering. Right now, are you angry? No. So, why should you conquer anger? It doesn’t even exist. How do you control or conquer that which does not exist? Once in awhile, you get angry. Why are you getting angry? Because suddenly your body, mind and energies are not behaving the way you want them to — they are just doing their own nonsense. That is anger. So, anger is not in constant existence. That which is not in existence, trying to control or conquer that, will just be a wasteful and hallucinatory effort.
Sometimes your mind turns unpleasant. One form of unpleasantness is called anger. Or in other words, sometimes you turn unpleasant. One form of your unpleasantness is referred to as anger; other forms of unpleasantness are called by many other different names. We will just take anger as an example. Why would anybody make himself unpleasant? There is sufficient unpleasantness in the world. Where is the need for you to make yourself unpleasant? Right now, you are in a kind of childishness where if situations around you are unpleasant, you will also become unpleasant. But tell me, is there any intelligence in this? Especially when the situations around you are unpleasant, is it not all the more important that you be very pleasant within yourself? But right now, you are in this childish mode that if the outside situations turn unpleasant, you will make your insides also terribly unpleasant. There is no intelligence in this.
You are trying to handle your well-being unaware. You will not know well-being this way, it does not matter what you do. You have to handle it consistently with full awareness of the nature of yourself.”?