Excerpt from Adventures for Your Soul: 21 Ways to Transform Your Habits and Reach Your Full Potential by Shannon Kaiser
We often worry that we have somehow gotten off course. We think that perhaps our life is off track, and we have made mistakes that are unfixable. Maybe you worry that you aren’t quite where you think you should be, whether it is the job you thought you’d have by this age, the relationship status, or where you would be living at this time in your life. If you aren’t where you thought you’d be, you may feel like a failure. I call this destination disaster, the feeling that our life is off track. This never-ending cycle keeps us constantly reaching for expectations that we have placed upon ourselves. These expectations are usually derived from unmet needs, and our mind tells us this is what we must do, be, accomplish in order to be fulfilled. If, for any reason, life doesn’t go along with our plans, we take the blame and feel like a failure.
When you let go of who you THINK you are supposed to be, the universe can swoop in and help you become who you are really MEANT to be. If you feel like you are off track and constantly playing catch‑up to some ideal set forth for your life, the best thing to do is Sweet Surrender.
Surrender is not giving up or saying that everything is perfectly okay; it is the willingness to let yourself energetically off the hook of trying to control the outcome. It is exhausting to try to be in charge all the time, which is why Sweet Surrender is your key to happiness. Surrendering is recognizing and accepting what you can’t change. We do this by releasing expectations.
We try to control our life because of what we think is going to happen if we don’t; basically, our control is sourced from fear. Control is the result of being attached to a specific outcome—one we are certain is the best for us. I often say when we try to control a situation we are trying to play GOD. When we are attached to the outcome, the universe cannot come in and help give us what we really need. The truth: The energy behind surrender accomplishes so much more than the desperate energy of control. Think about the difference between the two. Control energy is tight, restricted, and often manic. Your mind may shift from the past to the future very quickly as you try to figure out the solution. Now switch to surrender mode; you are calm, peaceful, and connected to your truest self.
You are more present in the moment and you can see there are things happening behind the scenes to help support your desires and needs. You trust. You let go of the attachment by being present in this moment. If you are obsessing and micromanaging all the details of your life, you can guarantee you are in your own way. Step into the Sweet Surrender by going inward and repeating this mantra.
“I allow my life to unfold naturally.
I trust all is in right order.
The universe supports my desires and me.”
Adapted from Adventures for Your Soul: 21 Ways to Transform Your Habits and Reach Your Full Potential, published by Berkley Aug 2015.
Shannon Kaiser's the best-selling author of Find Your Happy, Daily Mantras, and the new book Adventures for Your Soul. Shannon's also the founder of Playwiththeworld.com, an award-winning self-help and personal development website.