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Steps to Financial Flow

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How can you recover your equanimity when everything falls apart?

Stuff happens! We get divorced or lose our jobs, our parents die, our best friend is killed by a drunk driver. Often these challenges come when we feel least able to deal with them. We’re overwhelmed by responsibilities to family, kids, friends, and our community, and all we want is to scream, “I give up!” Life has “emptied” us of all we've known ourselves to be. We worry that if there’s one more fall we won’t be able to get back up, or even care whether we get back up. And if we do fall, we may lie there, too weary to cry, and it’s then that we may suddenly realize that crying doesn't help. We may even become bored with our thought loops of “Why did this happen to me?” and “Why doesn’t anyone understand my pain?” In my experience, when we are felled by suffering we have two choices: We can give up, surrender, and shut down; or we can give up, surrender, and open ourselves up to our suffering and the reality of the suffering of the world. We realize, yes, life is raw, but we can allow that rawness to be our friend. We can realize that everyone is dealing with suffering. We can let go of judging othe …

About the Author

Paul Sutherland

Paul Sutherland resides in Michigan with his four youngest kids, ages 5 to 10. He and his wife, Amy, try to be an example of Parenting for a Peaceful world, in which democracy begins at home.

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