I have a friend who is in a negative situation, and she’s hanging on for dear life because she wants to be brave and tough it out. “Giving up is not an option,” she told me, which is something so many of us believe. In fact, one of the most common questions I get from clients I coach is: What is the difference between letting go and giving up?
Overcome Fear, Ease the Release
Romantic relationships, jobs, and even places we live have an expiration date. But sometimes we hold onto things that aren’t working out of fear we won’t find something better.
[Read: “How to Beat the Fear of Being Alone.”]
Fear can drive our action, such as fear of the unknown or fear of failure, which is why so many of us grasp, hold onto, and manipulate our situations, even staying in situations that hurt our soul. But when we hold onto relationships that no longer feel aligned, the outcome is always the same: more pain, immense frustration, guilt, and blame.
If we can start to see that letting go isn’t giving up, that instead, it’s liberation from a situation or relationship that no longer feels good, then we can have more ease in the releasing.
Knowing When a Spiritual Assignment Is Up
Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. We strive to make the right choice, but how do we know when it is truly time to let go and move on?
From a spiritual perspective, relationships are divine assignments that can help us learn and grow. As Marianne Williamson says in her book A Return to Love, “Relationships are the Holy Spirit’s laboratories in which He brings together people who have the maximal opportunity for mutual growth.” But not all relationships are meant to last.
[Read: “3 Relationship Mistakes to Avoid (And Solutions for When You Can’t).”]
All of us are on a spiritual growth path and always advancing forward, but sometimes we progress in new and different directions. This is a normal part of life, and the clearer you are about what you want in relationships, the easier it will be for the universe to bring it to you, and to release what is no longer aligned. When we let go, we grow.
Keep in mind that if you need to release a person from your life, it doesn’t have to create a huge, dramatic fallout. When you walk the path of your true self, you can end things with peace and love.
Step 1: Ask, “Will changing this relationship improve my inner peace?”
Step 2: Ask the universe for support to receive the inner strength and courage to change the form of the relationship if need be. And have the strength to change what you cannot accept.
Step 3: Be willing to release the relationship with love. Try repeating the mantra: “I am willing to release this relationship with peace and harmony.”
15 Affirmations for Releasing a Relationship
Affirmations are another powerful tool to help you through the process of releasing a relationship that no longer feels aligned. Place your hand on your heart and repeat each one 2-3 times. Let the words set into your whole being.
- I respect expiration dates.
- I let go of what the universe is asking me to release.
- I don’t romanticize the past. I choose to be present.
- My plan B could be better than plan A.
- My loneliness is not an invitation to settle.
- I gracefully accept all changes happening in my life.
- Things fall apart because better things are falling into place.
- I embrace the space between where I am and where I want to be.
- Forgiveness isn’t about freeing me from my past. It is about opening up my future.
- Every next level of my life will demand a different version of me.
- Out of difficulties grow new beginnings. I trust the process.
- Regardless of the outcome, I am taken care of.
- Instead of focusing on the anger, I focus on healing the pain.
- I am open and willing to live my life in new ways.
- Everything is in divine order.
From Anais Nin to Oprah, enjoy these 21 quotes for letting go of the past.