Stacey Wolf: How to Play Well with Others … and Astrologically Plan a Perfect Wedding

Before Stacey Wolf ever told me she made her living as a professional psychic and astrologer, she told me just about everything I or — I wager — anyone needs to know in order to play well with others.

We were sitting in the dog run watching her poodle, Duncan, and my dachshund/terrier/Chihuahua, Maya, hang out. Neither of them was playing but they were just fine. Talking to Stacey was just fine too — like putting on old shoes. We’d slipped into easy conversation at first meeting, and one of the first things she told me about herself was that she’s always known how to adapt. When you can adapt, she said, there’s always a way to fit in, to get along.

Yesterday, about a year into our friendship, she elaborated: “It has to do with relate-ability.” We’d been chatting about furniture and decorating, so she used the subject as a metaphor. “You coordinate instead of match,” she explained . . . and a light bulb went on in my head: “You mean you don’t have to be the same? You just have to harmonize?” Stacey smiled and nodded.

Stacey causes such light-bulb popping for a lot of people. Sometimes through her one-on-one sessions, sometimes through her writing. (She’s kind of a psychic/astrologer/interfaith minister/writer mogul, if you want to know the truth, with too many talents and projects to name — including writing about her husband’s acupuncture study for S&H, Nov/Dec 07.)

One of her latest projects is her new book, Never Throw Rice at a Pisces. It’s a guide for brides — an astrological how-to for planning one of the biggest events in your life without killing anybody. The book is as brilliant and relate-able as Stacey. You just deal with who you are, who others are, and “coordinate.” But to do that, you have to know who you and everybody else is, and, according to Stacey, if you understand that astrologically, it can help you know the most positive ways to communicate and make decisions.

Growing up, Stacey never fantasized about a wedding or even getting married. “I would have been happy staying in my rent-stabilized apartment with my dog for the rest of my life,” she said. But she met her husband, Ed, and once they decided to marry, the planning of a wedding in a castle in Scotland took all of five hours. “I think everyone should get married in a castle,” she quipped. “I’m a Pisces, and Pisces like fairytales, so knowing this, I had my fantasy wedding.”

“What are Pisces like as far as event planning?” I wanted to know.

“Pisces get very upset about budgets, and we cry a lot,” said Stacey. So to keep crying and the budget to a minimum, they got a “bulk kilt rental.”

“You mean all of the men wore kilts?” I gasped, knowing that I was finally going to get to ask my burning kilt question: “What about underwear?”

“They all wore underwear,” Stacey assured me, “even though Scottish men do not traditionally wear it.”

For a moment, I imagined legions of underwear-less Scottish men dancing jigs . . . then I asked, “Did the underwear match the kilts?”

“I did not get that far,” said Stacey, laughing. “Well, for Ed, no, we didn’t buy him any special groom underwear. Whatever Fruit of the Loom he brought was what he wore.”

Hmm . . . I paused, trying to imagine it . . . And in my mind’s eye, although it didn’t match the kilt, I just knew that the Fruit of the Loom was color-coordinated.

Duncan & Maya