To “affirm” something, by dictionary definition, means that you are declaring it to be true. So when I affirm that I am fit when I am not, wealthy when I am financially struggling, or loved when I am lonely, how exactly does that work in the guise of living authentically—and who the heck am I kidding?
For example, if you and your friend were driving down the street and you were hungry and your friend was looking for a date, you would see all the restaurants (and none of the hot guys or gals) while your friend would see all the potential sweethearts (and none of the restaurants). Most of us have had this experience when a friend shows us their new car and it’s a make and model we have never seen before. Then, now that it is important to us, we suddenly begin to see that particular make and model everywhere we look. I used to date a guy who drove a cement truck and would have sworn to you prior to dating him that there were no cement trucks on the public roads and highways where I lived. Once I started dating him, I saw cement trucks everywhere. My reticular activating system recognized what was important to me and allowed the information in.
When you say an affirmation over and over again, a couple of things happen. One is that it sends a very clear message to your RAS that this is important to you. When you do that, it gets busy noticing ways to help you achieve your goals. If ideal weight is your emphasis, you will suddenly begin to see every gym and weight loss product. If money is your goal, investment and earning opportunities will move to the forefront of your awareness. In essence, the affirmation can kick your creativity into high gear.
The other way affirmations work is that they create a dynamic tension in our beings. If what I am saying is at a higher vibration that what I perceive the truth to be, the dynamic tension is uncomfortable. For instance, if I am saying “I am joyfully and healthfully at my ideal weight” when in actuality I am 10, 20, 30+ pounds above my ideal weight, a painful incongruence is felt between what I perceive the truth to be and what I am saying. Since this is uncomfortable, we want to rid ourselves of the tension. There are only two ways to do that: one is to stop saying the affirmation; the other is to raise the bar on reality by making the affirmation and reality match.
So what makes an effective affirmation? First, determine what kind of transformation you want to bring about in yourself—a goal or intention. Or determine what quality, attitude, value, or characteristic you want to remind yourself of or develop in yourself. Second, if it fits, add an emotion to the mix or a word that qualities the statement. For instance, I am joyfully at my ideal weight of 125. Or, I’m happily living in my own home. I personally like affirmations that strum my heartstrings: I offer gratitude for every step and every breath. Third, make it positive vs. negative: “I am healthy and fit” rather than “I am no longer fat.”
Some say it takes 21 days of repetition for an affirmation make its mark on your psyche, so aim to keep your affirmation going for at least a month. In the beginning you will have to consciously choose to repeat your affirmations. If you repeat them at every opportunity they will begin to replace the negative mind banter that takes over when we are not monitoring our thoughts. See if you can make the dynamic tension go away by making your words and reality match.
Here are a few positive affirmations to get you started. Please feel free to share your own in the comments below!
I am peaceful in my body, heart, and soul.
I easily see the lesson or the blessing in all that is.
Every day, I offer gratitude, trust and faith for everything that happens in my life.
I am authentic and present.
I am successful in everything I attempt.
I am a magnet for money and abundance.
Love, wisdom, and discernment coexist in my heart.
Deep love is my birthright.
When faced with two choices, I always take the higher path.
I am guided by a higher power.
I am energetic and strong.
I see the best in everyone and they in me.
Hi my name is Francine ..I am a singer/songwriter. I do respectively believe there is something to positive thinking and the power of Attraction, but I have been BELIEVING before I even knew there was a theory or a belief behind what I was doing naturally… I have believed this all my life or it was just something I just knew ( that I would have the kind of recognition and success in my music career .. That by now has never happened) So at this point I’m still trying to hold onto whatever I can to keep believing .. And I do believe there is a certain amount of destiny in all our lives that no matter what / no one can change . U can’t get too deep into Magical thinking – and then get let down when things don’t always work out as planned.. In fact that can make u feel even worst. I believe there has to be a Balance in life – in everything . Same goes for Power of Attraction or Extreme Positive thinkin. And Yes .. I still have the Vision for my Life I want to see happen / I still have Positive thoughts / and a Very Grateful heart. I also have a safety net underneath me while I’m walking that tightrope of high Vibrations and Dreams in the Sky …
Build it ..and they will come …
Francine ….Peace
Hi Francine, Thank you for your sharing. I have come to the conclusion that the only thing we really need to believe is that Spirit is out to do us good. Beyond that, believing is simply not enough. As I am sure you are aware, there is a whole lot of action that has to take place as well, and even still, sometimes Spirit’s answer is “no.” While I agree, “magical thinking” isn’t really useful if it isn’t backed up with several other ingredients……but I am also 100% sure that negative thinking is a powerful force and rarely if ever leads one to their goals. Bless you on your journey!
cf\
a fun affirmation i have used is “every day miracles, positive surprises, epiphanies and aha’s come to me with ease and grace.” Just yesterday my neighbor gifted me with 8 bottles of champagne, and a man who i was chatting with at the post office paid for my supper at the deli before he even had my phone number! Eve, do you have an affirmation for writing a book that you have found is particularly powerful?
I love your affirmation! That is a great one! Hmmm, a book writing affirmation…How about some variation of: “Every day I write my thoughts, miracles, epiphanies, aha’s and wisdom in my book with ease, grace and guidance.” Is there anything specific you need help with on the book? I do book coaching also…..
Thank you, Eve. I will use that affirmation to ease the writing. I am blocking myself, no doubt. But i had a vision about metaphorical pregnancy, so 2012 will be an exciting year!
Awesome…you might also try writing with your non-dominant hand. Lucia Capacchione has a book on it “The Power of Your Other Hand” …it is how I got into writing. REALLY HELPFUL!
Hi Eve,
Great article! Thanks for bringing awareness to the RAS, the Reticular Activating System. I’ve also spent some time utilizing affirmations for myself and my clients and I believe that it’s the emotion that goes along with an affirmation that provides the catalyst, the springboard, to create the desired intent. I’ve found that the greater the emotion and belief about already having the result, the faster the manifestation. As a productivity coach I’ve also found that there is great power in hand-writing the intention on paper, setting the goal and using affirmations as the tools to affirm and reaffirm one’s progress. I’ll look forward to reading more from you in your “Divine Essence” column! Blessings to you, have a GREAT new year!
Thank you John! The irony I have found in my own life is that while we hear, “Believe it and you shall receive it” …I have come to the conclusion that belief is actually an unnecessary ingredient. I do think you have to have a clarity of spirit and a knowing of a higher power, (but I have never tested NOT believing …so I could be wrong), but you DON’T have to believe that what you are wanting is even possible. In fact, just because you believe something, doesn’t mean it is true and just because we don’t believe something doesn’t mean it isn’t true. I have found the secret key to be in gratitude either way, whether the answer is yes, or no. When we shift into full surrender to Spirit’s will, rather than asking Spirit to honor ours…..I have found that that is when the magic happens…..
I have been wanting to be pregnant for quite some time. Last month I was elated to find out I was! However, shortly after finding out, I had a miscarriage. This was my first pregnancy and I am now left feeling fearful of losing another pregnancy, but wanting so badly to have a healthy one. Any advise on a good affirmation to help me through trying to get pregnant again and then the actual pregnancy once it happens? Thank you.
I’m so sorry about your miscarriage, I know that is so difficult. Two things I would suggest, is visualize and affirm the healthy baby, rather than just the pregnancy.
“I am joyfully welcoming my healthy baby into the world after a pregnancy of ease and grace.” or something akin to that. The second thing i recommend, and this is way harder….is to offer gratitude to Spirit for EVERYTHING….even the miscarriage. When you fully surrender to God’s will, knowing and trusting that Spirit is on your side and that the miscarriage was a blessing to you. When something happens to me or in my life that i don’t like, I meditate on “how was this a blessing to me” and I can ALWAYS find something to be grateful for—even in the loss of a loved one as among other things, it can lead to deep awakening of one’s strength and the deepening of other relationships. I never had children and while there is certainly a maternal part of me that wonders what that would have been like, I am also trusting that Spirit had other plans for me. As far as I can tell, Gratitude is the secret ingredient to co-creation…Thank You…whether the answer is yes, or no. Sometimes the whole point of the experience is learning to surrender. Bless you on your journey.
I call affirmations a part of manifesting. My experience with manifesting has been an interesting journey. Invoking the feeling of gratitude and/or relief while saying, visualizing, and thinking affirmations is the key for me. If what I want to manifest doesn’t come true, I ask myself what is it I really want. Is it that particular BMW, or is it a comfortable car? I believe Higher Power is always in charge, and takes care of the details. (HP is in the details.) If it is not congruent with my spiritual path, my soul already knows it and so the manifestation won’t happen. I too wanted to be pregnant and have a child of my own. I now look back and realize that was not the path I am on, and I am grateful. I had a very successful career. Financially, I could acquire anything I wanted. Suddenly I found myself on disability. I kept asking Higher Power “Why me? Why did all of that get taken away?” Now, I see I am happier without the career. Higher Power is in the details. Higher Power is there when we’re not thinking or doing. Affirmations work WITH HP. I always brag “I can manifest ANYTHING! Higher Power and I co-create”. Thank you for reminding me. Namaste. ~Lori
Hi Eve,
I have created Acappella Affirmations: http://innercreativevoice.com/acappella-affirmations/
Which I sing daily. Music is a wonderful way for me to meditate….so creating melodies to accompany my written affirmations has been a beautiful way to sing throughout my day and center.
Thank you for your article!
Susan
My affirmation is “Money comes to me in abundance through joyous means.” I thought about how to word this one for a while and it works well for me. I am self employed and if business gets slow I say this in the car driving to work, I say it into my phone, I say it getting my office ready for the day…The universe provides opportunities in unusual and sometimes hilarious ways.
Isn’t it true! I have had some pretty funny and unusual answers to my prayers too!
Thanks for sharing!
“Today is the first day in the rest of my life. All things are possible.”
When things got tough in the past, this affirmation worked for me. It sets the tone of joyful anticipation.
Eve, I thought your article was excellent. Thank you for re-affirming what we most need to know. Blessings, Harriette
Dear Eve,
I never really thought about using affirmations, but found through your article that I do! Several times a day I repeat: I trust the Goddess in all things; I am open to the whole of possibility; I give thanks for unknown blessings already on the way.
Beautiful! Thanks!
I am struggling with resistance. So much has been so difficult for so long – and gone so wrong… even what appeared to be a wonderful opportunity to live and work abroad has turned terribly sour. So much pain has been brought on by circumstances beyond my control that I cannot make myself believe that I can co-create anything desirable/meaningful in my life. I find myself wanting to hang onto my unbelief and unhappiness because it is grief over lost dreams and fouled plans. (I now deeply understand the title of the book, “Don’t Take My Grief Away.”) I can’t fathom any lessons, trust the Spirit, or be fearless and hopeful. I have learned it is possible to be so physically, emotionally, and spiritually broken that affirmations are exercises in futility, empty and without merit. This challenges those around me who continue to manifest their dreams and desires. They try to force me to be positive, and because I cannot, they are dismissive. They are disappointed in my crisis of faith, because they continue to manifest, so it must be true. Well, it’s not true for me. And I, who have supported others through crises in faith, have no support in my own. It makes me feel even more despairing, because I am not receiving much compassion. I teach compassion, above all, so I feel like a failure.
Aloha, Your message has been weighing heavy on my heart because I know how hard it is when it seems like every way you turn you hit a dead end. I am so sorry you have been having such a hard time. One of the things I coach all my clients on is that when we fall into the hole of despair or depression or when circumstances push us in, that it is fine to visit the land of grief and despair, it is rarely if ever a good idea to take up real estate there. A few years ago, when both my mom and my brother died, I too was in despair. I was still creative and involved but my heart felt dead. I sought counsel with an intuitive and he said something to the effect of, “You are at a point where you can continue as you are and look back and remember when you were somebody, or you can make new choices and be somebody again, it is up to you. It is your choice.” This hit me like a ton of bricks because i suddenly realized that I took up the real estate in my despair and grief. And I also realized that while I may not be able to make every dream come true or accomplish everything I want, I do have a choice about how I live. I realized I had no power to stop the people I loved from dying or certain circumstances from happening, but I did have the opportunity to switch my attention to what I was grateful for and build on that. On New Years Eve of 2009/2010, my first thought was how sucky the first decade had been because in “automatic pilot mode” all I could see looking back were the losses. But then I decided to give equal time to what had been good in the first ten years of the century. I was shocked as I listed the birth of 7 books, a niece, a granddaughter, the creation of The Sacred Garden on Maui, moving to my dream home, a deepening of my relationship with my remaining family members…. The list of good was not only long, but deep in meaning.
When my mom got sick, she had ALS and lost the ability to use one body part after the next, starting with her tongue, then her legs, then her hands, until she was totally paralyzed. This experience taught me so much about gratitude. I had never thanked my tongue for all it did to support me, or my bowels for that matter. When you really get into the hole of despair, grab the line of gratitude for what you DO have, and climb your way out.
My invitation to you, should you desire, is not to “think positive” but see positive….. Be compassionate to yourself and grab onto gratitude to get you out of the hole.
Blessings to you for a New Year, rich and deep, with ease and grace.
Beautiful Reply Could not have said it better myself – thank you both for sharing so openly. I too have been down but are holding on tight to the things I do have with gratitude. Thanks again.
Aloha Eve, Excellent article. I am strong advocate of affirmations. I must share this on my FB page Pharaoh Martin – EAffirmations.com. Mahalo!
i have always considered myself to be negative.i have gone through and have been treated for clinical depression.i suffer from low self esteem and don’t have much faith in my skills and abilities.for over a year i was doing a job that left me unhappy and physically ill.whenever i remembered i thank the universe for blessing me with a means to take of myself and my family,but to bless me with something where i will be happy.i was blessed with a new job,been at it for seven days now.i’m terrified: what if the universe made a mistake,what if i can’t do this?what affirmation can i use to ease my nerves and fear?
Congratulations on your new job! First of all, the universe doesn’t make mistakes! It is helpful to recognize that when we feel fear, it is signaling to us something that we cherish and want to protect. My guess is that you highly value having a job you enjoy, being of service (making a contribution) and being able to support your family. If you approach your new job honoring your fear, you could easily stumble or sabotage your new situation (and then conveniently blame the universe for being wrong…). Instead, I invite you to honor what you cherish and want to protect, and focus on how much you enjoy this new position and want to do a good job. If you approach the job honoring what you want instead of what you are afraid of, you are far more likely to do the very things that support the situation. An affirmation for you may be, “I am in the right place at the right time and am the right person for the job.”
Then, be self-observant and every time you catch yourself walking down the dark alley of fear, realize that your fear is “fantasized experiences appearing real” and is NOT happening in the present moment. Take a deep breath and bring your attention back to the present moment. Find your strength and do you best…. you may need to do this every moment for a while, then you will begin to switch your attention from your fear to your strength. Bless you on your journey!
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I say my Afirmations right before I go to sleep. they work. I use them for
personal Growth and Health notfor money or Material Things.